Luck is a relative thing.

We need more laws.

On a recent trip out of town I learned some new things, and thought that in some instances there should be more laws on the books, not less. We were staying at a place that had a pool, and, of course there were people of all ages using the pool and doing the whale-thing lying by the pool. Me included. There were some younger people trying to impress some other younger people with either their swimming suits, or their bodies, I wasn’t really sure. There were even some older (and I mean older than me, older) men that were trying to do the same. Unsuccessfully.

What I’m getting at, is, I think that a man should have to show a photo ID to buy a Speedo swimming suit. Or maybe, stand behind a cardboard cutout of someone that looks good in one and if you have anything showing that protrudes from the cutout they can't be sold to you. Chances are this would eliminate about 99% of random purchases. Or, maybe, actually try in on in the store and see what you really look like in front of a mirror before jiggling out on a pool deck. Or, maybe, mandate a two week waiting period before the transaction can be completed. Somewhat like gun sales. Maybe they should only be sold to those over 21 and no older than 22. I don’t think those things should just be issued indiscriminately to just anyone. They should only be issued to…...well, I don’t they should be issued to anyone. I only have two emotions when I see something like this, either I’m totally embarrassed for the guy or the opposite extreme, I can’t stop laughing. Women wear things like this, but I think that they’re called one-piece swimming suits. I don't think the above ideas should apply to women. When you see some over-weight guy stuffed into something that would only have fit him when he was like twelve years old, something has to be done.

Then, while we were waiting in the airport for our flight we heard a voice a little louder than usual come on over the intercom, “IF THE MAN THAT LEFT HIS HEARING AIDES ON THE TOP OF THE URINAL CAN HEAR ME, YOU CAN PICK THEM UP IN THE TERMINAL OFFICE.” My bet is that the hearing aide is still in the office. I can just imagine the kid that found it, “Look, mom, it’s my lucky day, AGAIN!!!”